Friday, July 9, 2010

A Giveaway on a fellow Birthmother's Blog!!

This GIVEAWAY is EXCLUSIVELY for BIRTHMOTHERS on the blog This is a Site For Birthmothers by Birthmothers!! This is a beautiful book called The Best For You by Kelsey Stewart, that explains why one mother chose adoption for her children. Enter to win this great book here.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Wow.. it' s all I can say.

One of my friends posted her status on Facebook as "is anxiously awaiting Sunday, when I get to meet my birth mother. :)" I was shocked and so happy for her! Thanks for letting me share your story in my blog Rachael.

Rachael and her Birth Mom 5/30/2010

Here is her story...
After 2 ½ years of emailing and the occasional phone call, I was finally going to meet my birth mother. I had been anticipating this day for as long as I can remember. But first, let me go back a few years and help everyone understand the situation a little better.

I grew up knowing I was adopted, and it was never an issue with me. I was placed in a home with wonderful, loving people. I had as good a life as anyone could hope for. I harbored no hard feelings towards my birth mom.

5 ½ years ago, when I found out I was pregnant with Bryan, I decided I wanted to learn more about my birth mother. As many of you Mommy’s know- at your first appointment, you are asked many questions about family history. Of course, I wasn’t able to relay much to my Dr, I didn’t know any of my family history. I wanted to know more about the woman that had graciously given me a chance to have a normal life. I was a little hesitant approaching my mom for information. I didn’t want her to think that I was trying to replace her. I certainly wasn’t. She pulled out the paperwork she was given from the adoption agency and I carefully read through my family history. But I wasn’t fulfilled just reading those papers. I decided I wanted to find her, to learn more, to be her friend. My mom then told me that her cousin knew my birth mom, went to high school with her and that I could talk to her and find out more. I was excited.

My mom’s cousin pulled out her old high school yearbooks, and I was finally able to see a picture of my birth mom. Because of the HIPA laws, our cousin didn’t feel comfortable telling me my birth moms last name, but I did find out her first name. I had gotten the info I wanted. She loved music in high school, as did I. She loved to write in high school, as did I. She was involved in the high schools drama club. We were very similar. I left our cousins house content with the information I was given.

When I became pregnant with Emma, the family history questions were asked again. I was able to answer most of them this time. However, I started thinking a lot more about my birth mom again. I asked Jason to help me find her. And he promised that he would. We drove over to Crown Point and searched the library for the yearbooks. I was able to find her picture, which was obviously accompanied by a last name. I was now able to start the search. I was told about, and figured that would be a great starting point. And it was!

I registered for a free trial account on and starting searching for her name. I found it! And it had the right graduation year next to it! Could this be my birth mother? I clicked on her name, read her info and decided to send her a message. I was VERY nervous when I hit send, but had high hopes that this would be the right person. A few days after I sent the message, I received a response. It WAS my birth mother and she was excited that I had found her! (This was a huge concern for me. I didn’t know where she was at in her life. If she was married, had kids. I didn’t know if she had told her family about me.) But she was overly thrilled that I had contacted her.

Over the next 2 ½ years, we stayed in close contact. We had tried to plan trips to meet each other, but it never worked out. But now, was our time!

I was nervous the whole week before our meeting. I wanted her to be proud of the person I was. I wanted her to think I was beautiful both inside and out. Jason wasn’t going to be able to come with me, so I asked my mom to accompany me. And with my birth mom’s ok, my mom agreed to go. The night before the meeting, I thought I wouldn’t be able to sleep. But, Layla had a rough night and I was exhausted. I slept fine.

Sunday morning came. I took the kids to church and then we all headed off to Merrillville to meet my birth mother. As I pulled into the parking lot, my nerves calmed. I was more anxious then nervous at this point. We walked into the hotel lobby, and there she was. There was NO mistaking that she was my real mom. We immediately hugged and then the introductions followed. We found a private table off by the pool and started to catch on the past 26 years. We talked about families, we compared our pregnancies and laughed a lot. Lunch followed shortly after and before I knew it, it was time to say goodbye. . I wasn’t ready to say goodbye, I wanted the day to last forever. It was such an amazing experience and now my life feels whole.

+I’m looking forward to next summer, when I will see her again!

Friday, May 14, 2010

Great Mother's Day Pictures!

Last night I was sitting on the computer while all the kids were sleeping and I got my favorite email, the one I always look forward to. It was an email of pictures from my birth daughters Mom from Mother's Day. My birth daughter is a child of my own heart. She rides dirt bikes, yet she has a girly side to her too! I LOVE IT! I bet she goes to dance class and then is out riding dirt bikes. Wow did I get it right when I chose them to be her parents. I love them all so much I am forever indebted to them.

Mother's Day 2010

Friday, May 7, 2010

Cherish your Memories..

Tomorrow is Birth Mother's Day. Try to put yourself in a Birth Mom's shoes. Try to think of giving your child to another family and think of the strength that takes. It is a sacrafice made in order to give their child what they could not. It is a very selfless act they have put themselves through and even though you may not understand it try to live that day, their placement day, just try it.

Here is one of my beloved Birth Mom friends vidoes she made after placement. Get a kleenex! ADOPTION LUVS Desha!

Monday, May 3, 2010

Birth Mother's Day is May 8th

Every year the Saturday before Mother's Day many birth mothers celebrate what is simply called Birth Mother's Day. It was thought up by a group of Seattle birth mother's in 1990. It was commonly thought, years ago, that birth mothers didn't care about their birthchildren and that adoptees didn't care for their birth mothers either. We now know this not to be true. With the trend of open adoptions becoming more so and favorable that couldn't be further from the truth!

I personally had never heard about Birth Mother's Day until a couple years ago on Facebook. I saw that a couple of my birth mother friends had it posted in their status. It is a truly blessed day that you can celebrate yourself and giving your child life and a family. All around the country there are many organizations that hold gatherings to celebrate birth mothers. I have never been to a gathering or celebrated the day but I encourage other birth mothers to. They can certainly help the healing/grieving heart. It is always better to surround yourself around other women that have been through similar situations. Contact your local adoption agency or support group and find a Birth Mother's Day event/gathering near you.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Birthdays that are cherished.

Today is a very special birthday for one little girl, the day her Mom and Dad became her family. I am also very grateful for the choice her Birth Mother made becasue she helped make my choice as well. The day I got that profile in my hands and saw them holding that little two year old I knew they would be my daughter's family.  It is so strange the things we think of that would make the perfect family for our birth children. I had a two year old when I gave birth to my birth daughter and I knew she just had to have a sister. She had been hearing my daughter chatter for those nine months, I figured it was only fair to give her what I couldn't. She atleast deserved a sister to play dress up with or in our case ride dirt bikes with!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to that special little girl who completed the family I had pictured for my daughter.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Lets get this started...

Hi! My name is Adrienne and I placed a beautiful baby girl for adoption in December 2002. I am hoping that this blog can be a place of peace and assistance for any and all Birth Mothers. I know that not everyone has had the greatest experiences, but if you find yourself at this page your knowledge and experience whatever it may be could play a key role in helping so many others. So lets start this blog out right and keep it open.

I personally feel wonderful about my adoption choice! Picking a family for my birth daughter shouldn't have been as easy as it was, but I am absolutely thrilled how it panned out!

It has been 7 amazing years of watching my birth daughter grow, through pictures the past four years and we visited once a year the prior three years. She has had an amazing life so far. She is in dance, cheerleading, rides a little dirt bike, they take a few trips a year, she has the cutest clothes, and the best parents ever (kinda jealous, I wish they would have been mine growing up.. LOL)! She has had some attachment issues with her Mom off and on but overall I think she is doing excellent.

My relationship with my birth daughters parents is fantastic. I consider them my extended family and I am pretty confident they feel the same towards me. We don't talk on the phone, we just keep in touch through email, Facebook and pictures, LOTS of pictures. They allow me send her a gifts, although she doesn't know it is from me. This is the best adoption plan for me and seems very manageable to all of us involved. Although not all adoption plans are ideal this one is by far perfect.

Please help this blog out by giving any suggestions of topics you would like to see discussed as well as any questions you might have. If I don't know the answer I will be quick to get it for you.