Rachael and her Birth Mom 5/30/2010
Here is her story...
After 2 ½ years of emailing and the occasional phone call, I was finally going to meet my birth mother. I had been anticipating this day for as long as I can remember. But first, let me go back a few years and help everyone understand the situation a little better.
I grew up knowing I was adopted, and it was never an issue with me. I was placed in a home with wonderful, loving people. I had as good a life as anyone could hope for. I harbored no hard feelings towards my birth mom.
5 ½ years ago, when I found out I was pregnant with Bryan, I decided I wanted to learn more about my birth mother. As many of you Mommy’s know- at your first appointment, you are asked many questions about family history. Of course, I wasn’t able to relay much to my Dr, I didn’t know any of my family history. I wanted to know more about the woman that had graciously given me a chance to have a normal life. I was a little hesitant approaching my mom for information. I didn’t want her to think that I was trying to replace her. I certainly wasn’t. She pulled out the paperwork she was given from the adoption agency and I carefully read through my family history. But I wasn’t fulfilled just reading those papers. I decided I wanted to find her, to learn more, to be her friend. My mom then told me that her cousin knew my birth mom, went to high school with her and that I could talk to her and find out more. I was excited.
My mom’s cousin pulled out her old high school yearbooks, and I was finally able to see a picture of my birth mom. Because of the HIPA laws, our cousin didn’t feel comfortable telling me my birth moms last name, but I did find out her first name. I had gotten the info I wanted. She loved music in high school, as did I. She loved to write in high school, as did I. She was involved in the high schools drama club. We were very similar. I left our cousins house content with the information I was given.
When I became pregnant with Emma, the family history questions were asked again. I was able to answer most of them this time. However, I started thinking a lot more about my birth mom again. I asked Jason to help me find her. And he promised that he would. We drove over to Crown Point and searched the library for the yearbooks. I was able to find her picture, which was obviously accompanied by a last name. I was now able to start the search. I was told about classmates.com, and figured that would be a great starting point. And it was!
I registered for a free trial account on classmates.com and starting searching for her name. I found it! And it had the right graduation year next to it! Could this be my birth mother? I clicked on her name, read her info and decided to send her a message. I was VERY nervous when I hit send, but had high hopes that this would be the right person. A few days after I sent the message, I received a response. It WAS my birth mother and she was excited that I had found her! (This was a huge concern for me. I didn’t know where she was at in her life. If she was married, had kids. I didn’t know if she had told her family about me.) But she was overly thrilled that I had contacted her.
Over the next 2 ½ years, we stayed in close contact. We had tried to plan trips to meet each other, but it never worked out. But now, was our time!
I was nervous the whole week before our meeting. I wanted her to be proud of the person I was. I wanted her to think I was beautiful both inside and out. Jason wasn’t going to be able to come with me, so I asked my mom to accompany me. And with my birth mom’s ok, my mom agreed to go. The night before the meeting, I thought I wouldn’t be able to sleep. But, Layla had a rough night and I was exhausted. I slept fine.
Sunday morning came. I took the kids to church and then we all headed off to Merrillville to meet my birth mother. As I pulled into the parking lot, my nerves calmed. I was more anxious then nervous at this point. We walked into the hotel lobby, and there she was. There was NO mistaking that she was my real mom. We immediately hugged and then the introductions followed. We found a private table off by the pool and started to catch on the past 26 years. We talked about families, we compared our pregnancies and laughed a lot. Lunch followed shortly after and before I knew it, it was time to say goodbye. . I wasn’t ready to say goodbye, I wanted the day to last forever. It was such an amazing experience and now my life feels whole.
+I’m looking forward to next summer, when I will see her again!